The Archives - Crew Letters
Tier's letter to Danny 1974
Feather's letter to Danny 1974
Tier's letter to Matt 1975
Tier's letter to Danny 1976

Gonky Groma
University of South Carolina
Box 81744
Columbia, S.C. 29208
Note: This is a mostly uncensored letter from Tier, Harry, Jack, Cut and two chicks written to Danny Dew Drop Gross from Lubbock, Texas during their illustrious Van Trip. Also make sure on your browser menu you choose View, then Text Size = Medium.
Pg. 1
Gonky to Gonads,
I'd thought I'd written everybody. I don't see how I could have forgotten my old pal Donny. At any rate, let me tell you where I've been. (You can probably already tell from the enclosed map but shut up and just sit there 'cause I'm going to tell you anyway).

As you know once Mardi Gras was over we took Bag O Beans back to Nashville and then proceeded to Ft. Lauderdale. Do you remember Kim Schoephoester? Of course you do. We stayed with her and her fiancÚ there. They are getting married in April. Her husband to be is Jack MacDonald. (He graduated a year ahead of us at Morristown and his Dad owns MacDonald Pontiac in Morristown). We really got high with them and had a super-fantastic time. We gave them a FM car stereo & some tapes of ours for a wedding present.

At Cocoa Beach Meg and Robin sort of gave us the brush off. They were also staying with some other dudes so we said the hell with it and split for Tampa that night. Jack burned the only picture of Meg he had.

About 10 miles from Tampa we visited Sarah Reilly. One night her and one of her girlfriends went with us to the beach. We were also drinking Tequilla. Everything was going perfect when, wouln't you know it, I get sick, puke and pass out. We left for Gainesville a couple of days later to see Patty Reilly at the University of Florida.

Then we rolled into Joe Borelli's college in Mobile, Alabama, and spent some time partying there.

Pg. 2
On the way through Texas we hit a windy sand storm which really knocked the van back and forth. Also on the way through Florida we stopped and ripped off an orange grove for a couple dozen oranges.

Plans change every day. By that I mean we don't know where we're going next. But probably we'll head to St. Louis for a weekend to see Terry, Lance & Tier's old friends. Then we'll see Bogie for a few days in Boulder. Then it's WESTWARD HO! to California. We will either go to northern California (San Francisco) and work our way down to San Diego where we have jobs waiting for us. It all depends on how much money we have, what we feel like doing, and which way the wind is blowing. The jobs in San Diego would be working on a grape farm for a friend of my old man's. If we decide to stay out there, we'll sell the van (that piece of shit) and get an apartment. By the way, Howie is difinitely coming out in June. Lance, Bogie and Bag may do so too. Did you know Clete and Roast are going to school in the fall? That's almost as funny as Bummer going to County.

[Editor's note: the tale of the Coke truck not recounted here]

Pg. 3
Now, enough about our adventures. What about yours? What's this nonsense about your hopping a ship to Europe? Do we have to start calling you Popeye? Don't you realize you're going to get scurvy? You've never even held a mop before. And now you think you can become an Admiral? Danny, come down off your porthole, you asshole. You're gonna get thrown in the brig. Hold on Danny, Slice wants to say something.

I simply cannot fathom the outrageous suggestion that the infamous "Danny Dew Drop" is at long last going to embark upon the high seas. "Dew Drop" please, in the honesty of your heart, tell me it is all bullshit!

Gonky - Jack just told me if you go on board that ship, they'll drop you off in the Bermuda Triangle. Danny - I just can't sea you doing this. It sounds like a fishy idea, Who's in league with you? Well, I think I'll smoke some reefer now. We'll go to the coral to see the rodeo. I hope you can fathom this all. Tier wants to say something.

Howdy Gonk, how is it going. Check you out later. Sage Banyan.

Danny - Horace. One of the chicks we met here wants to say hello.

Danny - Hi dey high! What's happening? I'm Cissy, Jack's best friend. Everyone of these dudes are really great. Keep cool. Love Cissy.

Pg. 5
Sage Banyan has the opportunity to begin page 5 of this nasty letter.
[Editor's note: page 4 deleted due to severe inanity] Texas has been good to me. I like it here. I already have a job lined up here in case I run out of greenbacks in California. I don't know when I'll see N.J. again but if I do it won't be for a while and when I do I'm going to get super HIGH, COOKED, FRIED, SPACED OUT, DONE IN, and then go swimming down at the shore. There is nothing better than partying on the sand and getting super done in and then slowly rolling down the beach and letting the waves catch you and bring out into the ocean. Oh well, enough hallucinating.

I expect you to keep the HIGH CHAMBER cookin while I'm gone. Some nite I'll be cruising into Cromwell and the first place I'm going to go is to the High Chamber and you know what I expect. I expect to see smoke pouring out of the windows in the garage. Beer bottles decorating your yard and St. Johns. Hums bodys strewn all over the place. Of course that smell of beer and that stench of pot must be present. The deck of cards must be on the table, too.

Danny - Tier just got back from a beer run, We're toking, drinking and writing you & Bag letters tonight. We are going to get (messed) up. Just like the old days in the HIGH CHAMBER.

Pg. 6
Gonky - Tier just spilt beer all over Bag's letter. He said he wished it was yours. It's drying out right now on top of Jack's tool box.

Danny - remember that famous Death Skid Boast and Terry had on Columbia & Park. Tier and I are here reminiscing about it. We almost got killed! (To read a re-cap of this most memorable Crew car race, click here).

We are also here trying to decide how many pounds we're smoked in the HIGH CHAMBER over the last 4 years. Jack says 20 lbs, Tier says 100 lbs and Cut says 0 because he ain't here. Take Tier's estimate. Now if we take 4 months to a year (summer & Christmas) that's 16. Now divide that into 100 and you get 6 lbs. per month which is ridiculous. The true figure is somewhere near 5.

Gonky, this is Tier. Harry & I are cooked. Harry just said he tried to be funny above but now says that he is so cooked he can't tell if it is or not. I am high now & got a lot more room in my belly and head (pot in bag, beer in refrig) so stay tune. I hate to ask you this again but could you send us 4 joints of the best shit you got. I'm tired of Texas Mexican pot. Kim [Boetcher] sent me a joint of Columbian and 4 of us got wasted. Hash would be cool too. Hash does not exist here and there are plenty of hungry Texans. We'll pay if you're not in abundance.

On the next page, Gonky, is an ancient symbol of Mayalaha, the Egyptian warlord whose picture once gazed upon causes death within a minute.

Pg. 7

Too bad if you looked.

Gonkiereha, I just thought of something. Since we are leaving Texas for the St. Louis between the 27th & the 31st, you must mail your response to us by the 24th of March (Air Mail 13 cents). So write back quick. I just cut a wicked fart. Luckily I was writing you at the time so simultaneously put down my Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and took this page and stuffed it under my ass. That's why this page is so wrinkly. So hopefully you can get a hit. Now take a whiff.

Danny, this letter has been hermetically sealed. Upon opening, a new and deadly strain of virus is released into the air.
Too bad if you're breathing.

Gonky, the reading of this letter causes permanent brain damage within the hour.
Too bad if you're reading.

Pg. 8
Right now we're toking on "wetback" pot but pretending it's Columbian. We're also pretending we're high.

Dear Gonkie,
How old are your queer fraternity brothers? You don't know who in the fuck I'm. But I'm one of Tier's, Jack's, Harry's, and Cut's friends. You send us some hash! Well have to run. I'm fucked up. Love Kay

Tier just tried drinking out of the spout of the mug and dribbled beer.
Cut & Cissy have just returned with their score. Pot here is $10/ounce. We're sifting it now. Jack just found a matchstick in it.

Gonk - I'm ready to crash. - Horace

This is Tier, naturally I don't feel like crashing. This is a pretty long letter so y'all better write back.

EAT SHIT    Sage Banyan (Tier)
P.S. Plenty of it.

Read another Crew letter from Tier '74, Feather '74, Matt '75 or Tier '76.
Or read some clippings from around Morristown.