Although no one is sure about some of the following details, it was summer 1976 when Feather, who was going to Villanova University at the time, but was back in Cromwell for whatever reason, met Bob Roast at T. Gross, where they drive down in Jim's Big Yellow station wagon to see Tier and Cut in Lubbock, Texas. Along the way, they pick up Bag in Nashville, TN at Vanderbilt University. Once in Lubbock, they drink lots of beer and play foosball at some bar, as they had done in Nashville.
With Tier, they set off for Gallup, New Mexico to rendezvous with Bogie (Doug Wakefield), who was living in Grand Junction, Colorado, but working in Gallup, New Mexico, and had
agreed to meet them there. Before entering New Mexico, though,
Tier, Bag, Roastie and Feather rented horses from a stable in Canyon, Texas, and had to dive in through the open windows in Feather's station wagon to escape a herd of stampeding Longhorn cattle after somehow pissing them off, which is another story.
On the way to Gallup, N.M., the car started to overheat in the middle of the desert, so they turned on the heater to draw heat out of the engine. Only problem was that the air blasting out was so hot that the driver couldn't keep his foot on the gas pedal. So the plan was for whoever was the passenger up front to use his left foot to operate the gas pedal intermittently with the driver, whose right foot had to cool off.
This plan worked until the rubber on the driver's sneaker started to melt. They countered by wrapping up the foot that was on the accelerator in a towel.
Upon arriving in Gallup, N.M., there was no sign of Bogie. He had already gone back to Grand Junction. Tier thinks the lady at the hotel said "You just missed him by 5 minutes."
At this point, rather than a 370 mile, 6 hour drive to Grand Junction, followed by a return 700 mile, 12 hour drive back to Lubbock, the consensus was to drive to Juarez, Mexico for a "donkey show," which was 400 miles away (5˝ hr.)
What is a donkey show you ask? Let's just say it involves a male donkey and a human woman, um how do you say this.... well, they put on a show, and it's more along the lines of Debbie Does Dallas. Now just replace the Dallas with a donkey and you'll get the picture.
So they cross the Rio Grande River and go into Juarez, Mexico, which is right across the border from El Paso, Texas. They go into a bar, where there are playboy pinups all over the wall, and each orders a beer. Out come several waitresses, each with a tray full of tequila shots. The Crew pays with "big" bills, and then wait...and wait...and wait for their change, which never comes. FInally, when they inquire, they get "No Comprendo," even from the Manager. So they left the bar and went to a consulate to file a protest, who came back with them to the bar only to be told
that the money was already in the bank. But they eventually get their money back.
Then Tier, Bag and Roastie decide to see a "donkey show." Feather opts out and says he'll wait till 5 or 6 o'clock for them to return. So they ask a taxi cab driver to take them to a donkey show, and they go to this place and into a room,
where there is a prostitute sitting on a bed smoking a cigarette, but no donkey, so they head out and go back to the bar, but Feather had already left for Lubbock.
Tier decided he had enough and left for Carlsbad, New Mexico, hitchhiking, to see the caverns there, with Bag and Roaster staying behind, since they wanted to get laid, and presumed to meet up with them the next morning, as Carlsbad was just 170 miles away and they thought they could easily hitchhike there in three hours.
That was the plan. Feather says he drove for a few hours and pulled into a campground for the night. Tier says when he got there his ride pulled over at the first campsite and somehow he found Feather around midnight. The next day, they saw Carlsbad Caverns, and then drove back to Lubbock.
Meanwhile, back in Juarez, Bag and Roastie decide to leave. Now since Juarez is right across the border from El Paso, Bag first bought some stilleto knives, but got stopped at Customs, where they took the stilletos away from him and ground them up. Then Bag and Roastie get ready to hitchhike, but first decide to get something to eat. Bag looks in his pockets and pulls out 15 cents. Rob looks in his pockets and has 45 cents. So Bag goes to a McDonalds and with that 60 cents buys a small box of cookies for 50 cents. He was supposed to save
half of them for Rob, but was so hungry that he ate all of them except for three small cookies, each the size of his thumbnail. Roastie was not happy about this.
With the dime that was left over, Bag tried to call home to see if one of his parents could wire them some money, but there was no answer because of the house fire that Harry had accidently started winterizing his motorcycle in the basement (the gas fumes drifted over to the pilot light in the water heater and the cycle caught on fire), and the firemen wouldn't let anybody back inside. So Bag and Roaster got on the road to hitchhike, but stood there literally all day and not one car came by. Eventually, one car did come by and stopped. Bag and Roaster, very hungry now, climbed in, and said they were going to Carlsbad, NM,
but the girl said she was just going up to 15th Street. She did, however, take them to her house and cooked them some hot dogs. Rob was sick at this point, puking up a green substance, possibly bile, and could not eat the hot dogs. The good Samaritan girl took them to the Salvation Army, and they ended up sleeping in a U-Haul trailer that night.
It took Bag and Roastie three days to get back to Tier's house in Lubbock, with them sleeping under a bridge one of the nights. Along the way, they were so hungry that they went into some convenience store to steal food in broad daylight, hoping to get arrested, where they would at least get some food in jail. The store manager asked the penniless Bag and Roaster why they were stealing, so Bag explained the situation, and the store manager let Bag use the phone for free, where his dad wired $50 to them. When they did finally get back
to Tier's house, their clothes were so filthy that Tier's washing machine broke.
To this day, Bag still gets grief from Rob for eating those McDonalds cookies, and whenever Rob sees the Salvation Army, he makes a donation to them. |
