# 1
Dear Gonk,
    I'm sorry this letter is not a real pisser that will make your belly ache from laughter, or the type of letter you would like to have other people read to make them laugh but ... I'm not sure this will get to you and I don't really care if it does. Just kidding ... Sorry I used the smallest peice of paper I could find but living so close to you must have rubbed off. Besides it's not the size of the letter that counts, it's how much dope comes with it. Yes, this writing material is the closet thing to used toilet paper but this whole idea is just a shot in the dark. Harry told me to write you, but I don't have your address. I have avoided writing your brother for a long while because of a misunderstanding we had,

                # 2
but we've been writing lately & I expect a letter from him this week with your address.
    I was as high as a grit when I listened to the tapes. Cut's expression on his face looked as if he had heard a Martian voice come over the radio. We were both shocked but happy to hear the Gonk's voice. We didn't expect you to make it home. How were the other nights during Thanksgiving Vacation? Did you party? Just wait till fuckin X-mas if I fuckin am able to get home. Things look dim because I can't afford to fly home so I'm thinking of driving but with no riders to help drive & pay gas & get high &

                # 3
no snow tires you might not be able to kiss my ass till Mardi Gras. Danny, if you do get this make sure your return letter gets here before Dec 31st because we have to move out of this $225.00 apartment since Bum left and it's too expensive for the 2 of us alone (Cut & Tier). I hope your grades are as high as I am. There is NO pot down here and one of the main reasons I want to go home is to get high. The only pot I've smoked has been sent by Harry & Kim & that amounts to about 10 joints - so what's a sage to do. The answer is drink & smoke cigar-
ettes. I smoke 2 ½ packs a day. Actually 2 when I come to think

                # 4
of it. When will you be home for X-mas? I will be home the night of Dec. 21st (Sat) or Sun if I leave at all.
    I hear you are a FART man, I mean a FRAT man, either one is pretty dangerous. I'm a cowboy. I'm fixin to fetch me a pair of 'em cowboy boots. He-haw. Kiddy-up-and away.
    Did you hear Farhad got married to a Japanese sumo wrestler? I hear you have some hash. Well, I hate to mooch but can you afford a sample. Harry says you got some. If it's too much of a hassle just forget & hopefully you, me & the gang will get high in your garage soon.
    Oh, in case you have told stories about the gang & some of your friends don't believe it, I'll back you up by saying there is a gang or crew & Harry is real. We drink, race & get high. Good luck, Tier.

Or read some clippings from around Morristown.